You'll Regret It
by writer4sho
Summary: Draco and Hermione seemed to have found themselves in a heap of trouble. Or rather an issue that neither of them want to abide with. How can the two deal with it? By ranting, of course. And finding out hidden meanings behind their banter. D/Hr. R&R


**Author's Note:** I really, really like this one. Just because it goes by the book more so than my other stories. So the characters are pretty "in-character". There is no smut. So sorry to all my lovely readers that love a good Dramione sex romp. I promise one next time though! However this is nice, in my opinion. Makes you think. I love thinking. Don't you? =) Enjoy!

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><p>"<em>Blimey<em>- move your bushy hair! I can hardly breathe with that rat's nest on your head."

"Oh. Rat's nest is it now? I could clearly remember you calling it a bird's nest just yesterday." Silence. Shuffling. "In fact, I don't recall rats ever living in a nest. So very incomprehensible of you."

"Can you shut your trap for two minutes? Just two. I don't think I can put up with your incessant yapping."

"Mine?"

"Once again with the shouting. It's absurd how those two dolts you call friends can put up with you-"

"Funny, I was going to say the same thing about that Pansy bird."

"Shut it."

"She never does know when to shut her mouth, now does she? One would think that you out of all people would be used to my back talk and voice- if you compare me to that sad excuse of a lady."

"Don't talk about Pansy that way, Granger. She's more a lady than you- pureblood, in fact."

"Oh yes. Because blood determines who you are more so than actually doing its function and making you live. Of course."

"Just. Stop. Talking."

"You just want to stand here in this darkness with nothing but our wands that won't work and remain quiet?"

"I know that seems like an impossible feat for you, Mudblood-"

"-don't call me that-"

"-But I would like to think that you can learn something new every day. What with your thirst for knowledge and what not. So shut your yap and remain quiet. It's hard to think while your voice is grating over the very fiber of my mind."

Silence.

"Very original, Malfoy."

"Bint, I said shut it."

"And honestly, I don't care much for what you have to say. I'm not some servant of yours where you can order me around."

"That can be arranged."

"Oh, really? In this small broom closet that you happened to have trapped us in? I do believe a lot of servant work can be…oh! Why yes. Look at that. A corner where I can hide myself from your presence so as not to make you even more uncomfortable-"

"You've seem to catch the gist of servitude, Granger. You sure you haven't done this before? Maybe in your past life you were a house-elf..."

"Oh, no. I just thought like a mindless, Pureblood racist and out came all those horrid thoughts. It was quite hard to reduce my brain cells to such a low factor, but I made it work it seems."

"And you can't seem to make it stay at that low factor? Just so you can shut up?"

"No, even if I did, Malfoy. My ability to piss you off is quite the innate characteristic of everything that is me."

A shadowed smirk.

* * *

><p>"Do you happen to have the time?"<p>

"Shut up."

"No."

Silence.

"The time, you idiot."

"Right, Granger. Because I would carry around some Muggle wristwatch in the dark shadows of this closet just to read you the time."

"I was just asking, you piece of slim. Merlin, you can be so vile-"

"Oh? Me. Vile. Yes, says the girl who's voice-"

"Really, not that again. Can't you be any more original?"

"The day that I stop attacking you on everything that is you will be the day that you aren't you. Which will be the day your dead. But even then, you'll still be you. Just dead. Which doesn't seem to be such a bad idea, now that I come to think of it…"

"Think all you want. I'm still here. Trapped in a broom closet with you. Because of you."

"Is it my fault that your hair is so large that it's got its own area code and provinces? A land of formidable disasters. I bet you I can find a cow in there…"

"My hair has nothing to do with the fact that you're a clumsy fool who can't seem to _not_ bump into me while we were in a deserted hall. Save the picking on me for when we're in front of Harry and Ron. It only makes more sense of you if you showcased my 'distresses-"

"Ah, I seem to distress the know-it-all Gryffindor. I think my life can now be complete."

"'Complete' as in the 'end'? If so, then please. Commence the end."

Frown.

* * *

><p>"Remember the dress robes you wore to the Yule Ball in Fourth Year, Granger?"<p>

"What of it?"

"It was periwinkle."

"You remember the color?"

"Of course I do."

"Why?"

"Well…"

Silence.

"You looked like a white-washed grape in that robes, of course."

Growl.

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><p>"I'm starved."<p>

"Want me to _Accio_ you a meal from the Great Hall?"

"Don't be daft."

"And don't state the futile obvious situations that I already know you're in."

"You'd figure the school would be looking for us by now."

"I wouldn't bloody look for us."

"And why not?"

"Well easy. You're quite annoying and when we're together your annoying attitude seems to triumph my clearly, understated charm. Which then makes us annoying together, in most standards. No one would want to look for people who are annoying together. However much it is your fault."

"You really believe half the lies you come up with, Malfoy?"

"Why, yes. If I don't then no one else will."

A hidden smirk.

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><p>"Malfoy…are you- are you snoring?"<p>

Silence.

Snore.

"Merlin, he sounds like a toad. Yes, that's it. An oversized, green, warty toad. An ugly one at that. With slimy skin."

Snore.

Giggle. "What an ugly toad."

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><p>"You know, Granger…if you weren't in the Gryffindor House and such a bloody know-it-all with bushy hair who has a need to talk all the time I think I might actually value you as an accomplice."<p>

"I would never accompany you in anything. If I were to, I'd know that it'd be something foul and dangerous."

"Ah, yes. And here comes your exasperating Gryffindor spirit that I was talking about earlier…"

"Really though, you couldn't just stand on your own two feet long enough to not drag us into this hole?"

Silence.

"Not with that hair of yours."

* * *

><p>"I think I hear something outside."<p>

Silence.

"It's your overworking brain concocting noises that aren't there. It senses your deprivation of some outside source that always has to challenge your mind. And thus, your brain is planning a mutiny and challenging you."

"Something that your unfortunate mind knows nothing about, it seems."

Silence.

A dark glare.

* * *

><p>"It must have already been a day since we've been in here."<p>

"Your point?"

"Why isn't there any light from the windows around this closet casting in through the bottom of this door?"

"I don't know, Granger. Maybe all things fun and sunny sensed your boring, wretched book-worm soul and decided to go elsewhere."

Silence.

"I'm not boring."

"I beg to differ."

"You don't know me, Malfoy. You don't know what I do or who I am."

"Thank Merlin."

* * *

><p>"What are you doing?"<p>

Silence.

Bang. _Bang_. _**Bang**_.

"Stop, you idiot?" Touch of an arm. Cloth. The first human contact since being stuck in this dark, broom closet with him.

"Get your hands off me, Granger."

Hands off.

"What are you doing?"

"Well." Bang, _bang_, _**bang**_. "Knocking on this door seems to be the evident observation here."

"Right."

Silence.

_Bang_. _**Bang**_. _**Bang**_.

"Stop it. It's quite annoying."

"If you want to get out of here as fast as I want a good lay then you're going to have to shut up and let me knock on this door so that the people who happen to pass by here know that we're stuck in some magical broom closet that won't let us use our wands so that I could shut you up."

Glare.

* * *

><p>Thud.<p>

Thud.

Thud.

"Tired, Malfoy?" Smirk.

"Shut it."

Thud.

Knock.

Silence.

* * *

><p>"Granger. If we die, I want you to know something."<p>

"We won't die, Malfoy."

"But if we do…"

"If we don't die and are saved I think you'll highly regret telling me whatever is you want to tell me."

Silence.

* * *

><p>Darkness.<p>

Voices.

A loud noise.

A creak. _Squeak_.

Light.

"Hermione? Is that you?"

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"How did you find-"

"The whole castle is on a big search. Everyone's been looking for you since yesterday. Is Malfoy with you?"

She nodded her head and watched as his dark frame filled up the door and walked closer to her. The light burned her eyes a bit and she saw that it was night time and the moon was casting a glow on the floor of the dusty broom closet.

"Need help getting up or anything, Hermione?"

She shook her head and hauled herself up off the floor. Looking down, she retrieved her wand and looked over at Malfoy sleeping in the tight corner of the closet.

"Should we just leave him there?" She looked back at Dean and saw the stretched smile on his face.

Smirking , she walked over to Malfoy, "No. That would be too mean of us." She shoved his shoulders to the side and watched as he jerked up out of his sleep and slammed the back of his head on the wall.

She stifled the small laugh and watched as his grey eyes opened in alert. He rubbed the back of his head and winced, "What do you bloody want, Granger?"

She honestly thought about leaving him there, but instead walked back to the door of the closet and stood next to Dean. "We've been rescued."

The shock on his face was momentary. But she saw it. Then a blank expression crossed his cold features as he stood up and wiped the dust off his black school robes. His blond hair was mused from its usually neat style. And his glistened pale face was marred with slight dirt.

She wondered how she must have looked.

He walked past her and out into the hall. She watched him as he glared at the moonlight. Turning around he stared at her. Opening his mouth before closing it and nodding at Dean before turning on his heels to leave.

She spoke up before he took a step away, stopping him mid-stride. "Aren't you glad you didn't say anything, Malfoy?" He was quiet and still. His form frozen. His shoulders tense. And when he turned to look at her the ugly sneer that she loathed plastered his face.

"Yes. Ecstatic." He turned around once more and walked further away before stopping once again and keeping his back to her and Dean. "Oh and Granger?"

"Yes." She gritted out through her clenched jaw and teeth.

He moved his head slightly and she was able to still see the pointy tip of his ferret nose. "Your hair looks like a bird's nest filled with rats, mice, and other rodents that I can't seem to think of off the top of my head at the moment. Probably a Weasel too-" Pause. "Make sure to tell Weasely to stay out of that mess of yours on top of your head next time you two decide to snog or shag. He might find his family in there and Merlin forbids that should _ever_ happen."

His footsteps faded. And her fists were clenched so tight that she burned nail

marks into her skin.

"He's a git, Hermione. Don't worry yourself over it."

She looked over to Dean and back at the spot where Draco Malfoy stood. "Yes, you're right."

And she was so glad that he had kept his mouth shut in the broom closet. Not saying anything she knew he'd soon regret.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this read! It's not romantic or anything. But it's something that gets you thinking I hope. What do you think Draco was going to confess or say to Hermione towards the end there? Let me know! Review, lovelies.<strong>


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